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I have had a ridiculous weekend, and although I have been meditating, I have hardly had time to stop, let alone blog.
But I can tell you that yesterday I meditated on the need to understand karma and to listen to Buddhas teachings so that I can purify my karma and experience positive conditions. As I meditated, I began to feel very free. It felt like if I understand karma properly, I will only commit positive actions, and I will be free from delusion, free from suffering, free from obstructions in helping others. It was lovely, and I focused on it for the rest of the meditation.
Today I did a meditation about karma in which I contemplated the rolling nature of my experiences. They are empty of inherent existence and arise out of emptiness. I decided that as my karma arises, I would keep interacting with it in a positive way, and apply a constant positive pressure on my karma. I generated a wish to apply a constant positive pressure on all my actions and thoughts, and in this way I will purify all my negativities, and attain Buddhahood (well that’s the plan anyway!).
I dedicate the merit from these meditations, this post and this blog to the great enlightenment of all living beings.
Thanks for reading 
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the wish to only perform virtuous actions in recognition of the effects of actions.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then I called to mind a section from Joyful Path of Good Fortune, where Geshe-la talks about karma. He says that we can tell what attitudes we have held in the past and what actions we have performed in the past simply by observing our circumstances and experiences now.
If we experience poverty, it is because we were miserly in the past. If we are often angry, it is because we have repeatedly allowed the delusion of anger to control our mind in the past. If we enjoy good circumstances and find Dharma easy to practice, it is because we practised virtue and we meditated in the past.
We can make this connection with confidence because we can often see the connection between our actions and our experiences.
I thought about how my experiences and habits now have been caused by my previous actions, and I felt a very clear connection between them. It seemed very obvious that I need to practice virtue now so that I avoid suffering in the future. I focused on this and I developed the wish to practice virtue and to overcome my strong desires to perform non-virtue.
Dedication
May all living beings recognise the connection between their current situation and their past actions, and may they act in a way that brings them quickly to actualise their full potential.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to bear in mind the clarity of this meditation’s conclusion, and try to refrain from non-virtue.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the wish to put effort into going for refuge to the Three Jewels.
I began with the appropriate preparations for meditation.
I then thought about how I need to put effort into receiving the blessings of Buddha, put effort into practising Dharma purely, and put effort into receiving the help of Sangha friends.
At the moment I am trying to understand the difference between an inherently existent self and a self that is self supporting and substantially existent. I know that the difference is subtle. My teacher has given me all the instructions she can. It is now up to me to make effort to understand.
I need to constantly request Buddhas blessings to soften my mind, and make the meanings of the instructions clear. I need to read and re-read the instructions to become more familiar with them. I need to talk to my spiritual friends to gain their insights and to learn what these words mean.
In this way, I will make my life maningful.
Therefore, I made the determination in my meditation that I will put effort into receiving Buddha’s blessings, putting Dharma into practice and receiving the help of my spiritual friends. I repeated this determination to myself, and after a while I felt like I was receiving help from Buddha and Sangha at the same time, and this was propelling me to understand Dharma and be able to fill my life with Dharma. I focused on this feeling for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings receive the blessings of Buddha, and the help of Sangha, and in this way, build the Dharma Jewel in their minds.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will constantly request Buddha’s blessings, I will read and re-read the instructions on understanding the difference between the inherently existent self and the self supporting substantially existent self, and I will continue to rely upon the support and help of my dear Sangha friends.
The purpose of this meditation is to go for refuge in three rounds, and to develop the special feeling of transforming our mind into the actual protection of a Dharma Jewel.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then began the first round of meditation.
I started by imagining that I was very ill, in hospital, lying in a bed. It was night time, and I realised that I was dying. It was a very private and personal experience as I felt my life slipping away. I thought – this is it – this is the end of this life. I felt it as if it were actually happening right now. I focused on the feeling for a while.
I then thought about how I would enter my next life as if through a dream – although it would appear as real as this life. I am a pig. My pig face looks like this – my pig body looks and feels like this. This is my home – the floor is mud and covered with urine and excrement I eat filthy scraps of food from the floor. I can grunt and push, but I cannot communicate much more that this. My pig life goes on until one day I find myself in a place that smells of death. The floor is hard and smells of chemicals. I am suddenly in a room alone with men. I feel my leg being pulled and suddenly I am upside down. I am terrified – I have never felt this before. I am swinging around. Then a man steps in front of me and plunges a knife into my chest. I feel excruciating pain in my chest and throughout my body. Blood pours out of my chest over my face – I can hear it splashing on the ground. Even before I am completely dead, they start to dismember my body. I am slit open and gutted. I am carved and chopped up. Some parts are thrown away. Some are fed to dogs. Others are minced into sausages or cut into chops, wrapped in cellophane and sold in shops. They are taken home and fried and humans eat them.
I thought about these points in the second round of meditation, and I felt horrible. What a dreadful way to live and to die – no spiritual progress at all – just suffering.
I thrn thought about the Three Jewels. Buddha Jewel shows me the way to practice virtue and purify negativity. Sangha Jewel helps me understand and remain on the path. The Dharma Jewel is my actual refuge. I can create Dharma Jewel in my mind, and slowly my mind will become the Dharma Jewel. The Dharma Jewel is the same continuum as my mind. Just as coal is in the same continuum as a diamond, so my black and unclean mind can become a pure, clear jewel. A Dharma Jewel cannot experience suffering, so when my mind becomes a Dharma Jewel, I will not be able to experience suffering – I will be free.
I repeated to myself – through reliance upon the Buddha Jewel and the Sangha Jewel, I can transform my mind into the Dharma Jewel. I focused on this and kept my mind of the feeling of my mind being a pure Dharma Jewel. It felt like I would actually achieve this, and experience complete freedom from suffering. I focused on this feeling for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings rely upon the Buddha and Sangha Jewels, and transform their minds into the pure Dharma Jewel.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to keep these three rounds of meditation in my mind today, and try to imagine my mind becoming a pure Dharma Jewel, incapable of suffering.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the wish to become a Sangha Jewel.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation.
I then thought about how Sangha are our special spiritual friends. In general, anyone who is keeping the Pratimoksha, Bodhisattva or Trantric vows purely is a Sangha Jewel. Also, anyone who helps others and it a good example to others is a Sangha Jewel.
I thought about how Sangha are essential to my spiritual development. My teacher has travelled from a warm, glamorous and almost god-like realm to a grimy city in the middle of winter. All she does is smile! What an inspiration. I thought about how I need to keep my vows purely, how I need to be a good example, and how I too need to become a Sangha Jewel.
As I thought about these three things, it seemed to me that I did not need to try to be a good example, nor did I need to try to become a Sangha Jewel. It seemed to me that all I need to to is to keep my vows, commitments and precepts purely, and these things will happen anyway. Therefore, I will
- Not kill
- Not steal
- Not lie
- Not engage in sexual misconduct
- Not take intoxicants
- Not allow my practice of training the mind to cause inappropriate behaviour
- Not allow my practice of training the mind to contradict my vows
- Not practice training the mind with partiality
- I will remain natural while changing my aspiration
- I will not speak about the faults of others
- I will never think about the faults of others
- I will purify my pride and anger
- I will abandon self cherishing
- I will abandon any hope of results
- I will recognise delusions as they arise and not follow them
- I will not retaliate to verbal abuse
- I will not wait in ambush
- I will not offend others
- I will not transfer my faults or burdens onto others
- I will not misuse Dharma
- I will not aim at being the first to get the best
- I will not transform a God into a Demon
- I will not seek happiness by causing unhappiness to others
- I will do everything with Bodhichitta motivation
- I will transform good and bad circumstances into the path to enlighenment
- I will start with a good motivation, and finish with good dedication
- I will endure good and bad circumstances whichever arise
- I will guard my vows and commitments as I do my life
- I will train in the three difficulties
- I will practice the three main causes
- I will be come acquainted with the three non-degenerations
- I will practice the three inseparables
- I will train without bias towards the objects
- I will train deeply and encompass all
- I will always meditate on special cases
- I will not rely on other conditions
- I will train in the principal practice at this time
- I will not misinterpret
- I will not be erratic
- I will train with certainty
- I will be released by two – investigation and analysis
- I will not be boastful
- I will not become angry
- I will not be unstable
- I will not expect any gratitude for my efforts.
I thought about these vows and commitments, and it seemed to me that I simply need to take these to heart, and everything else will follow. I focused on this, and developed a lovely simple feeling of the wish to become a Sangha Jewel by keeping my commitments purely. I stayed on this thought for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings become Sangha Jewels, and quickly attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to live by my commitments throughout all my actions.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate a strong wish to go for refuge to the Dharma Jewel.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation.
I then started by recollecting the qualities of the Dharma Jewel. The actual Dharma Jewel is the third and fourth of the four noble truths – true cessations and true paths – which are attained through the practice of Buddha’s teachings.
When we attain any cessation of delusion in our mind, we attain a true cessation. I thought about what it would be like to generate a true Dharma Jewel in my mind – a true cessation of delusion. Delusions cause us to feel confused and unhappy. Without any delusion, our mind would be clear and happy. I thought about how true paths lead to true cessations, and I developed the very strong desire to follow true paths and to attain true cessations.
I repeated to myself – I want to follow true paths; I want to attain true cessations. I kept this, while remembering its meaning, and slowly a very pure and clear feeling arose in my heart. It was a wonderful feeling of desire for putting Dharma into practice, and for striving to attain the goal of true cessations. When the feeling was strong, I focused on it, and tried to keep it clear for the rest of the meditation session.
Dedication
May all living beings follow true paths and attain true cessations – and attain pure Dharma Jewels.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will regard all Dharma books as actual Dharma Jewels, I will try my best not to harm any other living thing by any of my actions, and I will try to practice Dharma purely.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate a strong blissful feeling of going for refuge to Buddha.
I began the meditation by making the appropriate preparations, and then reviewed my previous meditations on death and the dangers of lower rebirth. I generated fear of lower rebirth, and then thought about how going for refuge to the Three Jewels can protect me from that suffering. I decided to focus on the Buddha Jewel for this meditation.
Buddha has complete compassion for all living beings. He wants us to become free from our suffering. He has no conceptual thought – he does not have to think ‘I will help suffering beings’. He simply helps. His body can manifest as men or women in our world, specifically to help us. His body can manifest as inanimate objects – even islands. His speech is purifying nectar which can be heard throughout samsara and nirvana. His mind is free from all obstructions, and all objects of knowledge appear directly and simultaneously. He has perfect skilful means so that he can help and bless all living beings perfectly.
I thought about these special qualities, and focused on Buddha’s kindness, compassion and power to help me complete my spiritual path. I repeated these thoughts again and again, and slowly developed a very blissful feeling of protection and inspiration. It was very beautiful, and I wanted it to last forever. I tried to keep this feeling for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings see the good qualities of Buddha and recognise him as a suitable object of refuge. May they go for refuge to Buddha, be protected from lower rebirth, and quickly attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will maintain my wish to go for refuge to Buddha throughout the day.
The purpose of this meditation is to develop a strong wish to go for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha every day.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation and then remembered that I will definitely die, and that when I die, I will definitely be reborn into the lower realms (perhaps not in my next life, but definitely in most of my future lives). I dwelt on this for a while.
I then thought about how I can avoid this by sincerely going for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.
Buddha is the supreme doctor who understands my illness, and has prepared a supreme medicine that can cure my sickness.
Dharma is the medicine itself, which I need to take in order for me to become healed.
Sangha are my spiritual friends who can help me understand Dharma and to take it properly. My teacher told me recently that Geshe-la said that 50% of his understanding of Dharma came from reading books, and the other 50% came from discussing Dharma with his spiritual friends. Therefore, without Sangha, it is impossible to have a full knowledge and understanding.
All three Jewels are essential, and I thought about how I need to go for refuge to them all day, every day.
It seemed to me that my life was like a mala in the sense that there are only so many beads left to go before I get back to the Guru bead – the end of this cycle of life. There is a finite amount of time left to me. It is up to me whether the bead of today is made of wood, or made of gold.
I settled on the wish to make every single day of my life be like a golden mala bead, and to be confident that if I do this, there will be enough beads left for me to attain enlightenment in this life. I made this my determination, and focused on it for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings make the best use of each day by going for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha again and again, and through this may they attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to default to a mind of refuge all day.
Just a quick entry today.
The meditation today was refuge practice. I regenerated my recognition that my life will definitely end, that that when it does, I will definitely have to face suffering. I focused on this for a while.
I then thought about refuge practice. If I go sincerely for refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, remembering their good qualities and the differences between them, I can avoid the horrible fate of rebirth in the lower realms. It felt like the best news ever, and I felt sincere joy at the thought that I do not have to endure the sufferings of the lower realms.
I focused on this for the rest of the meditation.
The purpose of this meditation is to get a very stable feeling of developing pure body, speech and mind through reliance upon the Three Jewels, and then to bring in the notion that our kind Spiritual Guide can lead us to this state.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation and then I began by thinking of my previous meditation’s conclusion – the sincere dread of the sufferings of the lower realms. I let this horror fill my mind for a while, and then let a chink of hope enter my mind by turning my attention to the good qualities of Buddha.
Buddha has a pure body which engages in pure virtuous acts. Buddha has pure speech which brings peace and happiness to all who hear it. Buddha has a pure mind, free from all delusion and obstruction.
I thought of how my Sangha friends can help me bring pure Dharma realisations into my life, and how I can become free from all non-virtue.
I thought about my body, and how I can stop my most gross non-virtuous actions like those of killing, stealing and sexual misconduct. I focused on my body becoming pure.
After a short time, I thought about my speech. I can stop my more subtle non-virtuous actions like those of harmful speech, divisive speech, lying and idle chatter. I focused on my speech becoming pure.
After a while, I moved on to think about my mind. I can stop my most subtle non-virtuous actions like those of covetousness, malice and all the wrong views. I focused on my mind becoming pure.
Then I brought these three purities together and imagined that though completing the practice of purifying my body, speech and mind through my refuge in the Three Jewels, I was free from the sufferings of lower rebirth. I would never have to undergo the death by a thousand cuts, or any other torturous death or suffering. It felt like a huge oppressive cloud had lifted from me, and I felt light and peaceful. I focused on this feeling, and its meaning for a while.
Finally, I moved on to the point that I can achieve this only through reliance upon my Spiritual Guide. By listening to his words I can purify my actions of body, speech and mind, and I can purify all my past negative actions. Though him, I can be free from the horrors of lower rebirth.
I brought all these aspects together and felt a lovely light, peaceful and relieved feeling, which I focused on for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
Through the virtues I have accumulated here, may all living beings find their Spiritual Guide, and find release from the risk of lower rebirth by taking his instructions to heart.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I am ok with my actions of body – I don’t kill, I don’t steal, and I don’t engage in sexual misconduct. But I have work to do in terms of my speech and my mind. I will try to follow my commitments to:
- never speak about others’ faults
- never think about other’s faults
- not follow delusions
- not retaliate to verbal abuse
- not wait in ambush
- not offend others
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