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Busy Wednesday again means a truncated post, but I can summarize my meditation in a few words.
I focused on cause and effect in relation to equanimity, and realised that I only need to concentrate on causes – forget about the conditions I am experiencing at the moment. I can understand which causes lead to inner peace and practice them exclusively. Then all I need to do is wait around until my karma is purified and negative experiences (like the perception of external enemies etc.) fade. It was a joyful meditation.
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The purpose of this meditation is to generate the wish to relate to the pure potential in all living beings, rather than their superficial appearance.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then imagined three groups of people in front of me. In the middle we strangers, for whom I have no strong feelings. To either side of this group were friends and enemies. I grasp at people I call friends as having the permanent ability to make me happy, and I grasp at enemies as having the permanent ability to make me unhappy. But these abilities or qualities are imputed by my mind upon these people. They do not have these abilities from their own side. I know this is true because some people dislike my friends, and others like my enemies. If their qualities existed from their side, then everyone would find them to be causes of happiness or causes of unhappiness, without exception.
Given this, I decided to relate to everyone in terms of their pure Buddhanature, rather than by superficial appearances. I made the decision that from now on, I will recognise the appearance of friend or enemy (and stranger) as a false appearance, and relate to people in terms of their pure inner nature. I focused on this and one thing I noticed was that my enemies disappeared. If I do not focus on their seeming ability to make me unhappy, but instead focus on their pure inner qualities, they cease to be my enemies. This is how to overcome our outer enemies – not by fighting and destroying them.
Dedication
May all living beings relate to each others’ Buddhanature, and quickly attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to relate to all others in terms of their Pure Inner Nature – their Buddhanature.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate a feeling of wanting to be completely at one with others.
I started by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then once again brought to mind the three groups of people in front of me.
In the middle are strangers – people for whom I have no strong feelings. To either side of this group are people I consider to be friends and people I consider to be enemies. My mind is mixed with the delusions of attachment and aversion respectively when I consider these people.
I thought about what kind of relationships I want in my life. For the reasons I experienced in the meditations of the last few days, I have come to see that my delusions force me to have a separation from most others. I don’t want this. I want my life to be meaningful, and I have come to see that the only meaning in life comes from our relationship with others, and our ability to bring them to fruition on the spiritual path.
I remembered, a little while ago, a very extraordinary moment, when I stared into the eyes of an almost-stranger for what seemed like an hour, and she stared straight back into mine. (She had asked whether I was Vide Kadampa, and I stared into her eyes, trying to decide whether to confirm her hunch, or whether to somehow avoid revealing my identity without lying). I don’t think I had ever done that before – in fact I know I had never done that before. For me at least, it was one of the most extraordinary moments in my life. When I reflect on it now, it seems to me that I felt completely mixed with the other person, and that she was completely mixed with me.
Considering this moment this morning in meditation, it seemed to me that all my relationships have been superficial – even the ones I consider to be deep and lifelong, such as those with my wife and children.
I realised I need to achieve a deep and meaningful relationship with everyone I meet – at least from my side of the relationship. Certainly with my family and with Dharma friends, I need to penetrate them completely, and mix with them. I need to take responsibility for them and have confidence that they will benefit from my presence. The starting point for all this is to have a completely balanced and open heart towards all living beings, without pretence and with no secrets. I want to be honest and transparent.
I focused on this wish to be honest and transparent, and to gaze into the eyes of all my Dharma friends, and connect with them so that we can all attain enlightenment equally and blissfully. I remained on that thought for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May I find a way to connect deeply with all living beings, honestly and transparently, so that we can all attain enlightenment quickly and blissfully.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will feel connected with those around me, take a genuine interest in them, and keep an balanced, open and honest heart towards them.
The purpose of this meditation is to see where a mind of equanimity leads.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then visualised the three groups of people in front of me – strangers in the middle and friends and enemies to each side.
I dwelt on the strangers and once again noted how my mind felt when I regarded them. My mind felt relaxed and balanced. I have nothing to hide from strangers. I am not drawn to them with desirous attachment and I am not driven away from then with aversion. I am free from strong delusions and I am able to simply enjoy a relaxed state of mind.
With people to whom I am attached, I feel a need. I see them as an external source of happiness, and I want them to give me the happiness they hold. I want them to do things to me that will make me happy. It is a selfish attitude and shameful. I hide this guilty mind, and it causes my mind to become anxious and un-natural.
Similarly, people whom I regard as enemies seem to hold suffering as an intrinsic quality. They ARE suffering. Merely to think of them hurts my mind. I don’t want them near me, and I am filled with aversion. But I cannot run away from them – they are at work, and at my recreation. I bear them and once again, I hide these feelings and I become anxious and un-natural.
But, if I can feel true equanimity towards them in the same way as I feel warm and friendly towards strangers, I can be honest with them because I have nothing to hide. I have no deluded minds – only equanimity. I can be honest with myself and honest with them. Uncomplicated, clear, true – honest. How wonderful to move through life with this relationship with others.
I focused on this feeling, and was gradually transported to a wonderful, clear and peaceful meditative state. When the feeling was strong, I kept it as my object of placement meditation for as long as I could, re-establishing it when it faded.
Dedication
Through the virtues I have collected here, may I become an enlightened being and quickly lead all other living beings to the same peaceful state.
Practice in the Meditation Break
May I be able to be completely honest with friends, enemies and strangers by moving my mind to a state of complete equanimity towards all living beings.
The meditation I did earlier today comprised looking at the three groups of people in front of me – strangers, friends and enemies. I focused on 
the strangers, and thought about all the people I saw today while I was in Sainsbury’s. While I was there, I looked at all these shoppers at the checkouts, and I noted how I felt about them. I felt very balanced and peaceful, because they did not stir any strong feelings either way.
In meditation, I thought about how I can try to bring this feeling into all my relationships, and think of how I can maintain a very peaceful and balanced state of mind. I can feel warmth and friendliness to everyone I meet and avoid strong stirrings of attachment or aversion.
I focused on this feeling of balance and peace for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings feel peaceful in the company of everyone, and maintain a natural and balanced mind throughout all their interactions.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to maintain a peaceful and balanced state of mind.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the feeling that we can mix with anyone, and yet remain peaceful and happy.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation and then revisited my meditation from yesterday. I went through the same four rounds of meditation and then thought about how my delusions create a ‘distance’ between myself and others.
For my enemies, I feel dislike, and I want to put distance between myself and them. I also don’t want them to know how I feel because this is impolite, and consequently I am keeping secrets from them, and becoming anxious.
For my objects of attachment, I sometimes have inappropriate feelings towards the opposite sex (given that I am happily married), or I become over excited at the thought of engaging in recreational activities (such as piano playing or climbing – two of my other pastimes).
When I think about these things, I see that due to my aversion and attachment, I create a mental environment where it is impossible for me to be natural and true. But if I can become a pure being, with pure thoughts and pure intentions, I can act naturally and honestly, with no dissonance between actions and mind. If I can see them all as objects of compassion and affectionate love, I can remain peaceful and happy no matter where I go and whoever’s company I am in.
I focused on this feeling of being able to go anywhere and mix with anyone, and yet remain peaceful, honest (with them and myself), and happy. It was a very lovely feeling, and I realised that if I can achieve this, I will be happy all the time.
Dedication
May all living beings find the ability to remain happy and peaceful in everyone’s company, and with this stability of mind, quickly attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to remain peaceful and happy by keeping a mind of equanimity – compassion and love for every single person I mix with today.
The purpose of this meditation is to develop a wonderful feeling of having warm and friendly feelings towards all living beings without exception.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then started by imagining three groups of people in front of me. In the centre were people for whom I have no strong feelings – people I see at work, and people I see in shops. To their left are people for whom I have attachment – my family and friends. I usually feel overexcited and un-natural around them because of my attachment to them. To the right are people who are causing me problems at the moment – people for whom I feel dislike.
I started by thinking about my friends and family. If I look with wisdom, I can see that in the past, and in past lives, these people have not only caused me problems – they have been my bitter enemies. They are not the exclusively positive entities I currently perceive. I felt my overexcitement lessen, and I made the determination: From now on I will try to remain simply warm and friendly to these people.
After a while I focused on my enemies. Despite their current manifestation, if I look with wisdom I can see that in the past these people have been very kind to me, and even in their actions now, they are helping me develop patience and other good qualities. Therefore if I look with wisdom I can see that they are not exclusively evil, but are much more balanced overall. I made the determination: From now on I will not focus exclusively on their perceived negative qualities, but develop a warm and friendly feeling towards them.
I then considered the middle group of people. I have a naturally balanced and harmonious relationship with these people, and I made the determination that as I can achieve a harmonious and balanced view with these people, so too can I do the same with friends and enemies.
Finally I developed the thought – even though people appear as friends and enemies, and stimulate delusions in my mind based on these current appearances, if I check, I can see that to respond appropriately to them in their entirety, the only sensible option is to treat them with warmth and friendliness.
I then focused on the thought ‘I love you anyway’, thinking that I love living beings regardless of their current appearance, and regardless of the harm they have done me in the past. This is a valid position because to love people on the basis of their kindness is to respond to their truth with wisdom.
I took this determination ‘I love you anyway’ as my object of meditation, and felt an overwhelming feeling of affectionate love for all living beings arise in my heart. When this feeling became strong, I focused on it for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings find equanimity in their hearts, and quickly attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will think ‘I love you anyway’ whenever I see or think of someone.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate a lovely even feeling of warmth and friendliness towards all other living beings in conjunction with reliance upon our Spiritual Guide.
I began by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then started off by thinking about the people I know who I would categorise as enemies, strangers and friends.
If I consider that everyone is, in essence, my Spiritual Guide, then I can view them as each teaching me difference aspects of the path, and allowing me to develop good qualities. My enemies give me the opportunity to practice patience and non-attachment. People I don’t know very well teach me of emptiness, and my friends allow me to develop my love and compassion.
I focused on the understanding that these three groups of people can all help me, and remembered that whenever I associate with others, I should view myself as the lowest of all. With this in mind, I generated a warm and friendly feeling towards all living beings while remembering that they are all, in essence, my Spiritual Guide. I really tried to generate genuine warmth and friendliness in my heart. It slowly became stronger until I was filled with a lovely feeling of happiness, love and the wish to help others.
I focused on this feeling for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings develop true equanimity for everyone, and quickly attain enlightenment.
Practice in the Mediation Break
I will remember how all living beings can be my Spiritual Guide and use the opportunity to develop patience, non-attachment, the correct view of emptiness, love and compassion.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the lovely feeling of equanimity, and then to remember that myself, the feeling, and the objects of equanimity are all empty of inherent existence.
I started by making a determination to meditate with good concentration and effort, because my life is quickly slipping away, and although Buddha offers a perfect way to become free from suffering, I don’t have long to follow his path.
I started by dissolving the world into light – then my room into light – and then my body into light, so that it became translucent and space-like. I then focused my attention at my heart and mixed my mind with my Guru’s mind, floating in his peace and stability for a while before moving on.
I started by thinking about all the people I know, and how they appear in a continuum of guises, running from enemy to dear friend, and everything in between. I thought about how their true nature is really a living being without faults. It seemed to me that all these people were really tied up and gagged behind cardboard cut-outs – their appearances to me. But these appearances are false. In reality, their pure nature is being kept hidden and smothered by their delusions.
I felt like I could reach out and see behind their mere appearance, and relate to the pure beings that are trapped by their delusions. I focused on this feeling of relating to them with warmth and friendliness for a while.
I then recognised that the normal appearances of living beings are empty – empty of existing truly from their own side. By recognising the emptiness of others, I can relate to them with consistency and love, rather than being swayed by their normal appearances. I refocused on my feeling of warmth and friendliness to them.
Dedication
May all living beings see beyond normal appearances, and develop equanimity towards all other living beings.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to relate to people with warmth and friendliness today, recognising that I am seeing a mere appearance.
The purpose of this meditation is to generate the strong feeling of equanimity for all living beings with strong concentration.
I began by making a determination to meditate well on the subject because it is a cause of happiness, and an opponent to the ordinary appearances of samsara.
I started with breathing meditation, and then moved on to the main topic.
I started by thinking about one of the most radical and revolutionary ideas I have ever come across:
Living beings have no faults
Just as we can see that we are not our thoughts, we can deduce that others are not their thoughts either. If we have dharma knowledge we can differentiate between the thought ‘I am angry’ and the thought ‘I have anger temporarily in my mind’. In this way we can free ourselves from identifying with delusions. We can see that we are normally the slave of our delusions, doing their dirty work without choice.
In the same way, we can come to see that others sometimes come under the control of their delusions, and we can correctly say that they have anger in their minds, rather than ‘they ARE angry’.
I considered these points and it seemed to me that as I looked at all other living beings, I could see their delusions separate from their pure nature, and they all became equally lovable, despite their superficial outward behaviours. I focused on this feeling of warmth and love for all living beings for the rest of the meditation.
Dedication
May all living beings stop identifying with delusions, and begin identifying with their pure inner nature, and become so familiar with it that they abide in its tranquillity permanently.
Practice in the Meditation Break
I will try to remember that when people behave in deluded ways, they are under the control of their delusions and are suffering. They are objects of our compassion rather than our anger.
Just as we can have anger in our minds,
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