The purpose of this meditation is to generate a feeling of wanting to be completely at one with others.

I started by making the appropriate preparations for meditation, and then once again brought to mind the three groups of people in front of me.

In the middle are strangers – people for whom I have no strong feelings. To either side of this group are people I consider to be friends and people I consider to be enemies. My mind is mixed with the delusions of attachment and aversion respectively when I consider these people.

Love heartI thought about what kind of relationships I want in my life. For the reasons I experienced in the meditations of the last few days, I have come to see that my delusions force me to have a separation from most others. I don’t want this. I want my life to be meaningful, and I have come to see that the only meaning in life comes from our relationship with others, and our ability to bring them to fruition on the spiritual path.

I remembered, a little while ago, a very extraordinary moment, when I stared into the eyes of an almost-stranger for what seemed like an hour, and she stared straight back into mine. (She had asked whether I was Vide Kadampa, and I stared into her eyes, trying to decide whether to confirm her hunch, or whether to somehow avoid revealing my identity without lying). I don’t think I had ever done that before – in fact I know I had never done that before. For me at least, it was one of the most extraordinary moments in my life. When I reflect on it now, it seems to me that I felt completely mixed with the other person, and that she was completely mixed with me.

Considering this moment this morning in meditation, it seemed to me that all my relationships have been superficial – even the ones I consider to be deep and lifelong, such as those with my wife and children.

I realised I need to achieve a deep and meaningful relationship with everyone I meet – at least from my side of the relationship. Certainly with my family and with Dharma friends, I need to penetrate them completely, and mix with them. I need to take responsibility for them and have confidence that they will benefit from my presence. The starting point for all this is to have a completely balanced and open heart towards all living beings, without pretence and with no secrets. I want to be honest and transparent.

I focused on this wish to be honest and transparent, and to gaze into the eyes of all my Dharma friends, and connect with them so that we can all attain enlightenment equally and blissfully. I remained on that thought for the rest of the meditation.


May I find a way to connect deeply with all living beings, honestly and transparently, so that we can all attain enlightenment quickly and blissfully.

Practice in the Meditation Break

I will feel connected with those around me, take a genuine interest in them, and keep an balanced, open and honest heart towards them.