The purpose of this meditation is to generate a strong intention to abandon self-grasping because it is the cause of all my suffering in this life and in all my future lives.

I made the appropriate preparations for meditation and then began with the contemplation along the lines of that given in ‘How to Understand the Mind’ by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.

Normally I see my body within the parts of my body – my hands, back and so forth. But when I look for my body with wisdom, I cannot find this body.

I thought about this and the analogy of space came back to me. We say that we see space, for example we see a space between ourselves and this screen. But in fact we do not see a space at all. All we see is that there is a screen and there is a distance between our meditationeyes and the screen. We say ‘I can see the space between me and the screen’, but this space is a concept created by our mind, and not an objective thing. We have ‘filled in the gap’ and created a thing which is now real to us. It has a place, a shape etc. But it is still just an imputation.

My body is like this. I have the parts of my body, and I create a concept of my body within those parts. Then for me, my body is real and has a place and shape. But there is no body other than its parts, in the same way that there is no actual space between me any my computer screen other than what I impute.

I focused on this for  a while and saw that my body does not exist except as a mere appearance, created by my mind. I then moved on to thinking about my ‘self’. Following the same thinking as before:

Normally I see my self within the parts of my self – my mind and my body. But when I look for my self with wisdom, I cannot find my self.

Again, I familiarised myself with the truth that my self is merely a projection, a creation of my mind, and has no other existence.

Finally, I contemplated:

Just as the son of a childless woman does not exist and has no problems, the ‘real’ self I grasp at and believe in strongly does not exist. If my self does not exist, the problems this self has do not exist either.

I repeated this contemplation and found that I understood that by recognising that my self does not exist inherently, all the problems of that self (both in this life and in ALL my future lives) simply cease to exist. How wonderful – how magical. I rested my mind on the thought ‘by ending my grasping at self, all my sufferings will cease immediately and permanently’. I felt free and at peace. I tried to hold onto that feeling within my meditation.

Dedication

May all living beings develop yogic direct perceivers – direct realisations of emptiness.

Practice in the Meditation Break

I will try to remember my feeling that without self, there is no suffering.